This post is the first in a series of essays examining how the #Four Foolish Rules we've considered over the last several weeks would apply to specific situations. You may want to go back and read this series, including the introduction, before you consider this post. The Scenario A group of women had just gathered for their weekly Bible study. It was a weeknight, just past the supper hour, in that time of the year when evenings are dark and the air is frigid. These friends had been spending time together for awhile, most of them, in various roles in their church. They were meeting in … [Read more...] about Working the Rules: When Someone Wanders In
strangers
Rule #2: Relationship First
You'd think we wouldn't even need to say this. Of course, everything starts with relationship. The most important things in our lives are the people, right? Our families. Our friends. So many people are so dear to us. But as we continue this conversation about the Four (Foolish) Rules for Life Together, it feels oddly necessary to put this one into words. Why is that? In Foolish Church, I said, "The first and best thing we do...is enter into real relationships with real human beings" (p. 27). I spent a whole chapter on this subject (chapter 2). Why? Well, on a good day, we don't need the … [Read more...] about Rule #2: Relationship First
Ten Reasons You Don’t Want to Help (But Might Anyway)
When her friend encouraged Edna to open the door to a stranger, against Edna's better judgment, that friend said, "They might be in need of help." The friend evidently thinks this will encourage Edna's favorable response. But will it? We don't know what Edna said next, but I can think of a bunch of reasons those words might not encourage Edna to open the door! I said we'd consider that question this week. It turns out there are a lot of reasons we might not want to help another human being! Here are ten: It might not be safe. When we try to help, we might open ourselves up to a … [Read more...] about Ten Reasons You Don’t Want to Help (But Might Anyway)
The “Giant, Hideous Insects” All Around Us
A couple of weeks ago I posted a cartoon and a practice invitation for you to think through the ways we jump to conclusions about people, and what would happen if we reframed our perspectives. Here's the cartoon that prompted that post: I was picturing you telling stories like this one of mine, about the time I rounded a corner in an office building, late at night, thinking I was alone, and found myself nose-to-nose with a woman I didn't expect to be there. She was short, and had dark, wild hair, and she didn't expect me, either. I was so startled that I grabbed her shoulders and … [Read more...] about The “Giant, Hideous Insects” All Around Us
Reframing (and an April/May practice invitation)
What if a giant, hideous insect shows up at our door? Or at our church? or business? (Or, in this time of social distancing, on the sidewalk.) What do we assume about why they're there, and what they want, and what we should do about it? Our gut reaction, most of the time, will be to get away. We are wired that way. We make quick assumptions about what's threatening and we do what's necessary to protect ourselves. We barely process why we reacted as we did. I love, in this old Far Side comic, how Edna's friend doesn't jump to the conclusion that the giant, hideous insect is dangerous. … [Read more...] about Reframing (and an April/May practice invitation)
Loving that Random Stranger
At some point a random stranger is going to walk into our church. Will we be able to get past our own “stuff” to meet them as they are, and let them know we’re glad they’re there? Or we’ll bump into someone at the end of their rope, or on top of the world, and we’ll have a decision to make about whether and how to share a little bit of our day with them. Will we? Those are the questions behind my posts over the last two weeks—my invitation for you to practice noticing how you react to random people that you meet, and last week’s reflection on my own experiences and what you told me about … [Read more...] about Loving that Random Stranger