Pause a minute and focus on that picture. What do you see? Seriously, pause and look. What story is it telling about the two women pictured there? Maybe it's a moment of sisterhood and delight. Two friends, caught in dusky sunset light, leaning into a glad future with just a bit of nostalgia. Maybe the blond--I'll call her Susannah--is headed off to college in the morning. Amy's giving her a last hug, resting her head on Susannah's shoulder, reluctant to let go. Or maybe it's a less harmonious moment. Maybe that look on Susannah's face is about her disappointment in what she just … [Read more...] about Rule #3 Again: Good Boundaries
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Rule #2: Relationship First
You'd think we wouldn't even need to say this. Of course, everything starts with relationship. The most important things in our lives are the people, right? Our families. Our friends. So many people are so dear to us. But as we continue this conversation about the Four (Foolish) Rules for Life Together, it feels oddly necessary to put this one into words. Why is that? In Foolish Church, I said, "The first and best thing we do...is enter into real relationships with real human beings" (p. 27). I spent a whole chapter on this subject (chapter 2). Why? Well, on a good day, we don't need the … [Read more...] about Rule #2: Relationship First
How to Be with Someone Who’s Weeping
Three words: Just. Be. There. You can stop reading now, because that's what I'm going to tell you for the rest of this post. Just be there. The rest will take care of itself. If you're still reading, put this down for a minute and grab (find?) your Bible so you can read the first two chapters of Job. (Rhymes with "robe.") Pay special attention to the last three verses of chapter 2. Go ahead; I'll wait for you.... (If you don't know the story, and in case you don't pause to look it up, you should know Job was a wealthy man who loses everything in those two chapters. Servants and … [Read more...] about How to Be with Someone Who’s Weeping
A C&E Connection Primer
As Christmas Eve rushes toward us, it's a good time to brush off our collective plans and skills for an opportunity that will be literally within arm's reach: Making connections with the C&E folks who will sit down the row from us. C&E, as in "Christmas and Easter church-goers," used here as a helpful description and without judgment. Some of my best friends--and certainly some of my blog readers--would describe themselves as C&E-ers! Since connection--relationship--is at the core of the (desirable) foolishness I'm always talking about, Christmas Eve seems like a reasonable … [Read more...] about A C&E Connection Primer
Neighbors We Don’t Pick
With Memorial Day upon us, I was in the cemetery this week to place flowers on family graves. I found myself wondering about the people who end up being buried next to us. They won’t necessarily be friends. We could find ourselves stretched out for eternity next to a rival, an enemy, someone for whom we hold utter disdain. Or maybe just someone who once memorably (and isn’t it always memorable?) criticized our housekeeping, our fieldwork, the style (or lack thereof) of our dress, or (heaven forbid) our children. Surely that happens, too, in our Memorial Day ceremonies, when we remember … [Read more...] about Neighbors We Don’t Pick