Pause a minute and focus on that picture. What do you see? Seriously, pause and look. What story is it telling about the two women pictured there? Maybe it's a moment of sisterhood and delight. Two friends, caught in dusky sunset light, leaning into a glad future with just a bit of nostalgia. Maybe the blond--I'll call her Susannah--is headed off to college in the morning. Amy's giving her a last hug, resting her head on Susannah's shoulder, reluctant to let go. Or maybe it's a less harmonious moment. Maybe that look on Susannah's face is about her disappointment in what she just … [Read more...] about Rule #3 Again: Good Boundaries
boundaries
Rule #3: Good Boundaries
Do you know that old saying, "Good fences make good neighbors"? Today's Rule #3 is connected to the truth of that saying. We'll live more peacefully alongside other people when we keep our fences in good repair. It's a basic truth of Life Together. Good fences might look like actual fence posts and woven wire that separates your cattle on one side from the neighbor's on the other. Adjoining farmers are wise to pay attention to such things. It prevents angry exchanges and confusion and the extra, inconvenient work of sorting animals that have scrambled from one side to the other. Good … [Read more...] about Rule #3: Good Boundaries
Ten Reasons You Don’t Want to Help (But Might Anyway)
When her friend encouraged Edna to open the door to a stranger, against Edna's better judgment, that friend said, "They might be in need of help." The friend evidently thinks this will encourage Edna's favorable response. But will it? We don't know what Edna said next, but I can think of a bunch of reasons those words might not encourage Edna to open the door! I said we'd consider that question this week. It turns out there are a lot of reasons we might not want to help another human being! Here are ten: It might not be safe. When we try to help, we might open ourselves up to a … [Read more...] about Ten Reasons You Don’t Want to Help (But Might Anyway)
Yes, but will we welcome them
Many of us have hailed the news, over past months, that President Obama has commuted the sentences of hundreds of federal prisoners, most of them incarcerated with draconian sentences for nonviolent drug offenses. President Obama has granted clemency at a rate far in excess of other recent presidents. This reflects, it seems, a growing bipartisan recognition that mandatory minimum sentences have not served us well. Great news, we might say. But will we welcome them? In other news, we are beginning to see the release of juvenile offenders whose mandatory life sentences were declared … [Read more...] about Yes, but will we welcome them